what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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