I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
