well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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