I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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