I have demons in me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
