no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
