his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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