Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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