his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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