a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
