I'm passing your future prison.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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