He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
either way he was missing a nipple.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
