I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
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He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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