theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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