New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
