I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
