I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize