I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
