Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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