So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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