Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
