so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
