your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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