Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he was CRYING into my vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
