Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
