please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
