I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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