Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
