Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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