I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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