bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
