white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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