They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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