Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
