Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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