I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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