break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
