I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
