And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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