Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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