u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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