we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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