Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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