Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
