saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
