There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
