No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
