Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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