forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
