idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
