thus making me awesome and them whores
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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