if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
