All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
