maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
