when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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