he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
