I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
