a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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