found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
