Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
