Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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