so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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