my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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