I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
