the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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