Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
operation harelip BJ is a go
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize