i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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