Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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