If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
