so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
